I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am naked and annoyed.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
