I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
