I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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