you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
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yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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