I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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