Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
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"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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