I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
