Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
