Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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