She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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