I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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