wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I touched a dick in church today
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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