drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
porn star boner night. come get it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
