You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she told me i tasted like america
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
