she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize