no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
