I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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