Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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