I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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