She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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