i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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