it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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