you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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