whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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