I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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