At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize