Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I love you.
Bad choice
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
