the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
