you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
