I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My ass is underappreciated
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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