Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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