FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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