Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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