Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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