Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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