i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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