Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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