Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
