drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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