It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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