let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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