She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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