Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
