He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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