last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
