I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
