wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
