what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
