walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
