it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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