there was a trapeze. enough said
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
