last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
