It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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