someone threw a dead crab at me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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