turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
