I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
