It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
