Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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