32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
