We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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