also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
